Thursday, December 06, 2007

12 Days of Christmas as seen by EMS


On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me...
Grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
2 MG of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by
taking her Husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling
suicidal....
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the
neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself
and have the big one in the driveway...
2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself...
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee..

On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
4 AM in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has
had the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the
hospital....NOW,...
3 Stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle,
2 MG of Narcan for Morphine eating Momma...
and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
Five minutes to eat.....
4 AM shuttle call,
3 stacked shocks,
2 MG of Narcan,
and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system...
5 Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!!!
4 AM Shuttle,
3 zaps to the chest,
gonna have a stomach pumped,
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven car
pile up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal
Mart the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo Dolls...
6 reports behind...
5 minutes to eat.......
4 AM is way to early,
3 stacked shocks,
2 of Narcan Pushed,
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight
flights of steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of
breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the
elevator doesn't work...
7 cars a crunching,
6 reports a writing,
5 minutes to eat.
4 AM shuttle,
CPR in progress,
2 MG of Narcan,
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine blankets
needed to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of the
house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10
seconds we are outside...
8 flights of stairs,
should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay,
6 reports I'm writing...
5 minutes to eat.....
What the Hell time is it,
should have paid the kid,
2 MG of Narcan,
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
Ten Minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy
figuring out who is going to lunch next....
9 blankets needed,
Hope fire department is coming,
7 cars a crunching,
6 reports I need to write,
5 minutes to eat...
Can't you wait till morning,
stick a fork in him, he's done,
Man I hope she shuts up...
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....
Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck
and maintainence won't take the truck in...
10 minutes waiting,
9 blankets needed,
8 flights of steps to climb,
Hope you have Progressive,
Give me a new ink pen...
5 minutes to eat....
4 AM is early,
3 Leads all show he's dead,
2 MG won't touch her..
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...
a 12 Gague IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to
swing at me...
it's really freezing,
Hope you choke on your sandwich,
9 blankets for grandpa,
How did you get up here in the first place,
man your husband is gonna be pissed,
6 reports STILL down...
5 minutes to eat...
Better than taking them back,
Hope I recorded the code,
Man, just pass out already...
and grandma who fell and hit her knee...

(Author Unknown)

3 comments:

FireResQGuru said...

HeHeHe..... I laugh everytime I read that. I posted that (or a very close version) last year. Sad part is that it's true.

emergencyem said...

Damn, you beat me to posting this! I have it saved on my computer and everything!

I love your blog! You've been blogrolled!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, how hilarious!! That one really made me smile. But, it's so true...

Love your blog!