Sunday, July 29, 2007

Author Unknown

I ran across something a few years back that I would like to share with you folks.

It may take you two minutes to read this, but if you do not take the time to read this you are one of the people this post is talking about.
You stay up for 16 hours
He's been up for 48 straight
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
The rain in the middle of the interstate keeps him awake.
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He's chilled to the bone, hasn't eaten all day, has the flu, and then runs out to another call
You drink your coffee on your way to the mall.
He pumps on a five years olds chest on the way to the hospital.
You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket.
He makes sure his cardiac monitor is working.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He watches his buddy fall through four floors.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks down the highway looking for the motorcyclist's missing limb.
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears fifty pounds of gear in the middle of July and drags a body out of 1600 degree flames.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He hasn't seen a meal since last shift when he ate breakfast.
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He's worn the same stinking, wet, grungy clothes for the past 24 time for a shower.
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He holds the hair of some college girl while she's puking in the back of the ambulance.
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
His shift ended 2 hours ago and he's on for another 24 hours at a station thirty miles away.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He calls his girlfriend to tell her he made it back alive....then
leaves abruptly for another call
You yell and scream at the ambulance that just past you because they slowed you down.
He's in the back of the ambulance, going to cut somebody out of their car only to find out that they're dead and their daughter is barely alive.
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He cries as he hears his new born cry in the hospital.... he was taking a drunk teenager in when his boy was born.
You criticize your fire department and say they're never there quick enough anyways.
He blows the air horn while the person in front of them refuses to move while talking on their cell phone and doing their makeup.
You hear the jokes about fallen firefighters and say the y should have known better.
He feels the floor give way while he's carrying an old lady from her bedroom and tosses her on to the hard floor and falls into the unknown.
You see the bright lights when you go by.
He sees the broken bodies lying around the car.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He looks into buying a bullet proof vest because he's been shot at trying to save the shooting victims life.
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes his spare time to wash the wagon, restock the ambulance and maybe call his mother to tell her not to worry, he'll be home the next night
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep on his spring board bed but keeps getting woken up by the gong and bell, ahh, one hour of sleep, it should do till tomorrow night.
You sit there and judge him, saying the that its a waste of money to have them around.
Garbage truck workers make more than he does, but it's not for the money, it's for the people who don't appreciate what he does.

Kinda says it all, don' ya think?

Saturday, July 28, 2007


It's going to happen. No matter how hard you try.
If you're in this business for any length of time you will start to feel your own mortality.
You will start asking yourself questions and considering the outcome of your own demise. What will my family do, how will I be remembered? Will people grieve for me? How will my affairs be taken care of? What will be come of my possessions, will everything go to my sons as I wished?

I sit an think of these things sometimes and I guess I'm scared of dying. I know the world would continue spinning after I'm gone, but I guess I'm such a control freak that I don't think I would like the way it spins.

Would my boys be raised the way I want them raised? Would they eventually start calling their step-dad "daddy"? I'm daddy god-damn it! I don't want them calling someone else daddy.

I tell my children I love them everyday, most of the time I tell them 2-3 times a day, does it mean anything to them? I let them know that they are the most important thing in the world to me and that NOTHING except God is more important and nothing ever will be.

I usually get the reply "Love you too Dad". I don't know if they really understand that they are my entire life. The entire reason I do what I do.

I go on calls and I see people that take their children for granted, or use them as a source of income. It sickens me. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that people literally kill their children, starve them, beat them, neglect them. Why? How in Gads name is this possible? Is there something broken in their head? They must me broken, I can't imagine any sane person doing such a thing to their flesh and blood.

Ahh, maybe it's just me getting old, or maybe I need to consider meds. I don't know anymore. I do know that I have things to do, places to go, people to see, and I'm not looking forward to cashing in my chips anytime soon. I just wish i could go a month without seeing someone dead while at work. Just one month to reset my head or something.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Your Kidding Right?

I opened up my comments section and found this:

Anonymous said...


I am looking to become an EMT, I finished classes, and I just have to take the national registry exam. Trouble is, I smoke marijuana and I dont really want to stop unless I need to. Are there drug tests for EMT-Bs?


Are you fucking kidding me? I hardly know where to start responding to something like this, you have left me 90% speechless. Lucky for you that I still have 10% to work with.

As an EMT you are asking the public to trust you. You are asking them to put an unimaginable amount of faith in your ability to help them on the worst (or one of) day of their life.

Many days, you direct the difference between life and death. Your actions or inactions determine the outcome of some pretty nasty situations. You need to have the ability to think clearly, unobstructed by any drug illegal or legal.

I can't tell you how disappointed I am that you even went to school for EMS. Your a fucking idiot. You wasted your money and you wasted the instructors time. You took such a wonderful opportunity and squandered it because you can't lay off the wacky tabacky.

If you would have started your comment with "I Used to smoke dope, but then I went to EMT school" I would have had no problem, but you blatantly say that you don't want to quit. You disgust me, you are the lowest form of snake-shit on the planet.

Oh and to answer your question. Yes, they do drug test.

Today I declare WAR!

Today I declare war on the world for not making everything perfect for me.
Today I declare war on my job for not making everything easy on me.
Today I declare war on my girlfriend, she is now my ex-girlfriend.
Today I declare war on my kids for being kids and loving unconditionally.
Today I declare war on my house for constantly needing repair.
Today I declare war on my bank for not lending me any money.
Today I declare war on my family for never being there for me.
Today I declare war on my friends for always making me look at the bright side of things.

Today I declare war on myself for setting my expectations too high.
Today I declare war on myself for being 34 and still optimistic.
Today I declare war on myself for not giving my children more attention
Today I declare war on myself for being so belligerent.
Today I declare war on myself for expecting too much out of life.
Today I declare war on myself for being so fucking co-dependent.
Today I declare war on myself for feeling guilty about hard decisions.
Today I declare war on myself for stressing over the small things in life.
Today I declare war on myself for missing the wonderment of just being alive.

Sorry guys, I had to vent. Shit is falling apart around here and I'm in a mad dash to set things right again. It's like trying to crawl out of a hole, you get so far and then WHAMO you slide down again. I'm nothing if not persistent though. I'll get there and my experiences will strengthen my resolve. The bad things that have happened to me over the course of the last 4 years will serve to remind me why I should never trust ANYONE except my sons and my friends.