Extra Time

Ok for the last year I've had my life pretty well mapped out for me. Work, School, Study, Rinse and repeat.

My work schedule changed like crazy due to people covering my class time. I never really knew when I was expected to work unless I looked at the schedule the day before. Now that things are back to quasi normal I hardly know what to do. I woke up this morning before my kids did, that was kind of cool. I walked downstairs WITHOUT a textbook and had some coffee WITHOUT looking over notes or drug flashcards, I stumbled out to the back porch to survey the damage of the last storm WITHOUT stressing over an upcoming test.

It only took me about 45 minutes to realize that I needed to fill some time now or I was going to go stark raving bat shit crazy. You just get so used to a mid to high stress level that when it's gone you ALMOST miss it. Note the use of the word almost.

I have to teach at a Basic EMT class tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that and Wednesday I go back to work but today... Hmmmm.

I think I'll run a new electrical line for my family room AC today so I can watch TV and stay cool at the same time without blowing a breaker.

I think I'll investigate my eve spouts and find out why I'm getting water in my basement.

I think I'll work on the go-cart and get it running.

I think I'll clean up the fire ring and get it ready for a few BBQ's

I think I'll replace the window in the mud room that the storm took out.

I think I'll service the boys' motorcycles and have them ready to ride when they get home.

or.

Maybe I'll just sit and and try to talk myself out of grinning like an idiot. It's really over and I actually pulled it off. At 35 years old I went back to school and became a paramedic.

Still amazes me.

Big Fight!

I wake up in the morning at 5am. I don't shave. I didn't shave on Saturday and I managed to pass my practicals. So shaving is out for today. My nerves are killing me. I can't eat, just the thought of it makes me want to vomit. Since I didn't shave, getting puke in my beard would be bad.

I go in and kiss my boys. They have sacrificed so much over the last year. Daddy has been gone almost everyday and many events were missed. They miss their Daddy.

I stumble down stairs and turn off the AC, too cold in the house. I grab a Rock Star Energy drink, I know it will make me crash, but the test is only 2.5 hours so I should be done before the big crash happens.

I drive to the shop. The director is kind enough to drive us the 50 miles to our test. He wants to give us every opportunity to be as rested as we can.

The 3 of us don't say a word on the hour drive, we are too consumed with our own thoughts, ambitions, and fears.

As we arrive at the testing center the paranoia kicks in and my stomach starts to tumble. I feel like I'm here to do battle. They WANT to fail me and I will need to fight like hell to even have a chance. I know it's irrational, but thats what I think. I'm a fighter by nature so bring it on, lets get to it. It's either you or me NREMT.

125 questions later I walk out the door wondering how long it will be before I can reschedule. It was a good fight but I think they got me. A cheap shot indeed, but I think they got me. No matter, we'll fight again and things will be very different.

Quiet on the ride home too, I know it will be at least 6 hours before I will know the results of the fight. I was bloody, bruised and tired but I thought I got a few good shots in too. I might not have won, but that bastard would know he was in a fight tomorrow.

Pull into the drive and stumble in the house. Too hot, the AC comes back on. I crawl upstairs exhausted and fall into a coma.

Phone rings. Results are in.

THAT BASTARD GAVE UP! He rolled over and showed me his belly! I may be broken up and bruised but he couldn't continue!

I'm a Paramedic

Medic School Is Over

Medic School is complete and now the real stress begins. National Registry.

5 Days from today I will find out if I'm a brand new paramedic or if I have fallen short of my goal and need to study up and re-test.

Lord knows I would like to accomplish this on the first time around, but I know many fine paramedics that had to take the test several times.

Then again... I know many crappy paramedics that only took it once.

I don't know how to feel really. One the one hand I'm EXTREMELY happy to be done with school. I have let a lot slide in the last year. On the other hand, I'm about crazy with nerves about this test.

Wish me luck.